Proposal Review 1

Hi,

I've agreed to review two proposals.  The first is entitled "Healthy People".

The gist of the proposal appears to be to create an app for the iPhone, iPod, and iPad that gives lifestyle suggestions given user data, with the intention of helping people lose weight.

My overall reaction is that the proposal might be a good idea, but that the quality of the presentation . . . needs work.  The proposal lacks structure and is at times redundant or incoherent.  The author only really addresses one of the issues and does not present a clear plan for project execution.  Overall, the project seems like a simple enough idea, but the proposal remains unconvincing.

Format: 3.0/10.0 => 1.5/5.0
There are no marked sections; the entire proposal appears to be a single stream-of-consciousness rant.  Upon closer examination, the proposal does possess a loosely delineated structure, with discussion of various aspects of the project being in generally related areas.

Writing: 2.0/10.0 => 1.0/5.0
I don't really think judging on this is fair.  From the way the paper was written, it is clear that the author is an ESL speaker.  Consequently, I don't hold faults in this area against the proposal.

Goals and Tasks: 4.0/10.0 => 2.0/5.0
The project is roughly defined.  By the end of the proposal, it is clear what the project would entail, even if it is not completely stated.  There is only a very limited breakdown of what would be required, but the goal is present.

Scope: 6.0/10.0 => 3.0/5.0
The project has a decently defined boundary, in the sense that the entire project idea was stated, and boundaries can be inferred from that.  However, the description is somewhat vague, and only some aspects of implementation can be inferred.  There's not really a concrete sense of what to do, with scope only arising from a description of what the application's behavior would be.

Plausibility: 8.0/10.0 => 4.0/5.0
The project appears to be simple enough to implement within 12 weeks.  However, the author admits that he has no knowledge of development on any Apple platforms, nor equipment to test it on.  Programming for Apple mobile devices typically requires Objective-C, which is a huge pain to work with, especially if you never have before.  It is only because the project is reasonably simple that I think it is still doable.

Novelty: 7.0/10.0 => 3.5/5.0
Exercise programs aren't really new.  The author acknowledges this.  The differentiating factor according to the author is that the proposed project would not give confusing data that would confound the user (heart rate, calories used, etc.).  Instead, the author suggests making the UI simple, with only lifestyle suggestions and weight loss being reported.  This isn't really novel, but it has merit in that many people don't really care about numbers and statistics, and just want some suggestions, and it is not an approach that is typically used.

Stakeholder Identification: 9.0/10.0 => 4.5/5.0
The product is clearly intended for those overweight or concerned about their health.  It does not explicitly list these as the target audience, but the intention is nevertheless quite clear from context and remarks within the proposal.

Support and Impact: 4.0/10.0 => 2.0/5.0
There is no mention of anything about supporting the project.  As close as it comes is "it will not have cost"--so, open source?  Free?   No support mechanism is proposed.  However, the author consistently alludes to the notion of helping people and making a difference in their lives, so there is some implicit notion of making an impact.

Evidence: 9.0/10.0 => 4.5/5.0
Actually, the proposal opens with a statistic concerning the amount of overweight people in industrialized nations.  The impact is fairly obvious by the project description.

Challenges and Risks: 4.0/10.0 => 2.0/5.0
The author acknowledges the main issue: that he knows nothing about application development on Apple platforms and currently has no resources to do so.  Unfortunately, there is no apparent realization that any research (which would have shown that this may be harder than first imagined) was conducted.

So, overall, weight loss programs aren't really my thing, but I can see the idea having some use to some people.  However, as presented, the proposal does not effectively sell itself.

Ian